


King Koopa Kink

by everythingturnsgold



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater, Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Hell Fic, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Modern AU, Wedding, but the love hans feels for him Is, hanschen/bowser is one sided because bowser isnt real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 05:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12029442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everythingturnsgold/pseuds/everythingturnsgold
Summary: Hanschen was never particularly shy about his admiration for Bowser. He didn’t advertise it but given the chance he wouldn’t hesitate to talk about him.Which is why Ernst probably shouldn’t have been so surprised when he walked in on Hanschen making a Bowser collage when they were 16. By hand. He was surrounded by scraps of paper and his hands were covered in glue.





	King Koopa Kink

**Author's Note:**

> sorry

Hanschen was a massive nerd. There was no denying it or getting around it, although he could hide it well enough. If he was talking to someone he hadn't known for nearly his entire life.

He loved reading from a young age and loved video games from a slightly older one. Both were often used by his parents to keep him occupied as a child. He read whatever novels he could get his hands on and played whatever games he was given, and collected every single copy he had.

Ernst, on the other hand, cared far less for both of these things. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, it was more that he had a casual interest whereas Hanschen was more than willing to spend months saving his pocket money to buy an ancient copy of a game for a console no one uses anymore. The two boys spent nearly their entire lives together in one way or another, though it wasn’t until they were 12 that Ernst realized exactly how big a nerd his best friend was.

Hanschen broke his arm because he fell down a flight of stairs because he was trying to read and walk at the same time.

Ernst never let him live it down. Or at least he wouldn’t have if Hanschen didn’t manage to outdo himself time and time again.

Hanschen started reading less after he got his cast removed, something about being betrayed by the books as a concept, and as a result spent more of his time playing video games. His favourite games all either involved Mario or involved the world he inhabits. They had been the majority of what he played when he was younger and this followed him through life.

He was 13 when he found his love for Bowser.

Bowser was persistent, he tried and tried and tried to reach his goals and when he failed and was foiled he stepped back to recuperate and then tried again. He clearly had an incredible amount of wealth as well, he had access to so many castles. He was King Koopa. His snark in Paper Mario drew Hanschen in even more, but what really sealed the deal was how cute Bowser looked when he was chubby. Plus, he was almost certainly gay.

Hanschen was never particularly shy about his admiration for Bowser. He didn’t advertise it but given the chance he wouldn’t hesitate to talk about him.

Which is why Ernst probably shouldn’t have been so surprised when he walked in on Hanschen making a Bowser collage when they were 16. By hand. He was surrounded by scraps of paper and his hands were covered in glue.

When they were 22 and Ernst found a folder on Hanschen’s laptop full of screencaps edited to make it seem like Bowser/Luigi dating sim, he thought to himself that maybe he should have seen it coming. Maybe not that specifically, but something like it.

8 months after that, when the two of them were engaged, their friends were joking about how lucky Ernst was that Hanschen chose him over Bowser. He smiled and laughed and some part of him quietly agreed.

 

* * *

 

By the time their wedding came around, Ernst was very used to Hanschen’s… antics. He had known him his entire life and been in a relationship with him for 7 years. He knew better than to fight Hanschen’s hideous novelty tshirts and his memes and all the other general weirdness that had been rolled into the man he married. No, instead of fighting he threatened to block him. Or break up with him. And now, he had a new word at his disposal. The d-word. _Divorce._ These threats were always empty and both of them knew it, but it amused their friends to no end.

So he shouldn’t have been surprised when Ilse’s speech at the reception could essentially be boiled down to a list of the top 10 times Ernst threatened to dump Hanschen. She also made a point of telling everyone she was so excited to hear the first time the newlyweds used the d-word.

Though I doubt even she thought they wouldn’t even be able to get through the reception before it came up for the first time. Hanschen was sitting next to Ernst, leaning into his side and he was very happy and comfortable. Ernst was happy and comfortable too. He was a bit sleepy and playing when Hanschen’s hair and he looked down to see Hanschen changing his profile picture on Facebook. To Mario and Bowser in white suits dancing in front of a gay pride flag.

“What’re you doing, Hansi?”

“We’re married now, I think it’s fitting to have an icon that shows that.”

“Why not use one of the countless photos taken of us today? It’s not like you don’t have plenty to choose from. You can use a Bowser icon another time.”

“It’s not the same, Ernst.”

Ernst groaned. “I’m divorcing you.”

Hanschen might have had something he wanted to say in response, but he was cut off by Ilse standing on her chair and calling for everyone’s attention.

“Excuse me everyone, I would like to make a toast!” Ernst sighed. Of course she heard them. “Here’s to the happy couple’s first time using the d-word! To gay Bowser!”

Their parents looked concerned, but none of their friends lacked any enthusiasm when they responded with a hearty chorus of “To gay Bowser!”s.

 

* * *

 

It was just over a year later when Ernst got home from work early and walked in on Hanschen jacking off. The only thing aroused by this was Ernst’s suspicions when Hanschen slammed his laptop shut.

“What were you looking at?”

_“Nothing.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next time he was home alone he dug through Hanschen’s laptop and deleted the… offending folder.

_[“So long, gay Bowser.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCh2l0J1uJk) _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(pic from [here](https://existential-yeehaw.tumblr.com/post/175699988035/bad-ideas-pt-1-no-i-do-not-know-how-to-use-any) :^)

**Author's Note:**

> rt if u support hans x bowser ,  
> 


End file.
